21/03/2013
Deniz Kurtoğlu Eken: “Yes I admit: I have always wanted to be on stage. Who knows what I could have done if there was somebody to help me along the way.” “I think some part of me always yearns for the stage. As an administrator you learn how to ask, how to question, and how to look at yourself.”
What did 10 years of running the Sabancı School of Languages teach you?
Being an administrator may not mean much as a title, but it does have you work with people –instructors, students, parents, others– and maintain constant communication with people who have a wide range of expectations, ideas and beliefs in education or even in their social lives, so you start thinking about things that you had not thought before, and in time, you begin to provide them with more choice. You realize that not many things are black and white, you get to see shades of gray, and you become more flexible.
More importantly, you learn how to ask, how to question, and how to look at yourself. I don’t know whether this applies to everyone, but what benefited me the most in this job was constantly asking questions about myself. I wasn’t always an administrator; I facilitated training programs for years, we did many institutional surveys, we set up teams and worked in coordination, but we always asked questions and looked at how we did things.
You also learn not to worry about everything, which is good. There are a million things happening at once and trying to keep everyone happy, going beyond yourself to make sure no one is upset you come to the realization that many things are no longer the way you were worrying about them in the first place, which is also good. My colleagues were amazed at how calm I could remain. This is something you have to do, but it doesn’t come overnight; you learn it as you go along.
What else did I learn? There is one more thing which I cannot say I have learned because I already believed in it and I still do. There are lots of professional seminars, we have leadership programs, you can opt for graduate and postgraduate studies, but unless you invest in personal development and peace of mind, there can be no professional expertise. Without believing in and struggling for people’s potential and the inner peace they may have, financial and other benefits will have limited effect on their satisfaction. The emphasis you make on personal development will be effective in determining the success of a career. This applies to students as well. If students don’t come to school with enthusiasm, if they don’t feel that they are appreciated and respected, they will not learn effectively. But this is not how we think about academic and administrators; we only invest in them from a professional perspective.
When in fact the human is a whole, and not a machine with compartments.
Yes. Furthermore, we spend 80% of our waking hours at work, so we must keep the workplace rich professionally as well as personally and socially so that we enjoy being there. Since 2004, we have had a psychologist visit the School of Languages every year. In addition to group seminars, instructors can have one-on-one sessions if they wish, and discuss anything related to work, families or personal life. Our need for such counseling continues to grow. Counseling hours fill up the moment they are posted. We have a growing need for personal development in all areas. We see the same thing in students: much has been repressed, swept under the carpet, and why? Because it is weakness to talk and to share, because my parents will get mad, because I can’t say this to a teacher. Helping the student overcome these obstacles is an adaptive effort and a struggle in its own right. Considering that two-third of all students start with the Foundations Development Year, our role as the School of Languages is doubled: we must help them adapt to the school and support them not only cognitively and academically, but emotionally as well. I am sure our efforts are not complete, but I think we as a team have been doing quite a good job.
And then there is technology: I know from my own son, who refuses to look up from his iPad. I tell him to come over, hug me, give me a kiss, the iPad can’t do that… All he does is sticking his head out and saying, “Okay, kiss me if you want.” This is inevitable of course, but also worrisome because this is the technology-intensive environment in which the majority of our students are raised, and this will only grow and expand. I don’t know how we can overcome this. You can’t let them use technological equipment on the one hand and impose curfews on the other; you can’t limit your son’s gaming to two hours per day – this is their reality. We need to understand them better under these circumstances and find more reasonable ways. We need to accept some things. We can’t set off to change people; this will not do any good to the instructor or the student. There can be no way more wrong than trying to change someone. A person will only change if they want to.
What can we do as educators and administrators? We can provide support, create the environment and give opportunities. But there still are elements that command “Thou shalt change!” This is in the book you read and the conference you attend. An academic comes up and says, “Unfortunately, we were unable to change the convictions of the instructors.” This is wrong on so many levels, and worrying indeed.
For ten years, you have been the Director of the School of Languages, which is an institution that has been around for fourteen years. Your work here must have been full of firsts and changes.
I did love my job, but it was very demanding too. Looking back, the way I worked to meet the expectations from the education system and how I tried to ensure the satisfaction of instructors, students, parents and personnel put extreme pressure on me indeed. But I learned lots as well. Now I can say that I did the right thing to come to Sabancı, to do this job, and to move to Istanbul in general. Doing that meant I had a lot more opportunities to develop.
A woman waiting to be discovered
You are keen on dance, drama and music.
Yes I admit: I have always wanted to be on stage. Who knows what I could have done if there was somebody to help me along the way. I had vocal training at the conservatory for a year with a private instructor. But my parents were in Belgium and we couldn’t afford the lessons so I let go. I performed at many belly dancing shows, and I even made my own costume. That is not so well known a part about me. I think some part of me always yearns for the stage. My close friends try to console me: ‘You are always on stage anyway; you are a performer in your job and your social life.’ But it’s not the same thing. There are some people –singers, actors– who have me look on in awe as they perform. At this age –not that I’m too old– I could become a character actor. Let’s hope for an opportunity.
Why not? There are many amateur ensembles from where you can go professional.
Well, I do want a shortcut. Someone needs to discover me!
:))
Right, so the heading goes: A woman waiting to be discovered: Deniz Kurtoğlu Eken”
Well, I would love the opportunity. I could act in a good commercial too.
You love literature, you wanted to work in literature, and you write poems. I saw on Facebook that you write in English. You read your poems at the recital held by the Information Center. What can you say about this?
I used to write when I was young too, but never made a big deal of it; it was mostly like what every teenager does. And I write in English because my childhood was shaped in English, not because I’m a teacher. I enjoy expressing myself in English. The poetry came after losing my mother. We lost her in September 2009, and a few months later I was suddenly overcome by a desire to write poetry. That is when my interest in needlework resurfaced too. It could have been a means of coping with the stress, and a way to express myself. It was something triggered not necessarily by my mother, but the loss of a loved one.
And the emotional circumstances.
It was a trigger and I continue to write, I quite enjoy it. Sometimes it’s only four lines, sometimes much longer. And I want to have a little memento dedicated to my mother, in the form of a poetry book. My sister will take part in this too, and the proceeds could go to children. I regret that I have not been able to do something in the name of my mother. If you google Uğurkan Kurtoğlu, you will get no results. These may be dark thoughts but if we are all going to end up in the same place, it is just a waste of time to offend people, to avoid them. Regardless of what you may have believed, said or done, all that will remain about you is fond memories, and there can be no better reward. That is why I want my mother to have something in her name, something dedicated to her. My mother loved children, she paid for the education of poor kids. She taught them how to read and write, and she was not a teacher. I could have a school built in her name; well, a lot of people do, but I would have loved that.
Let’s talk about what you expected and what you found in life.
Well, I think I was very lucky. Not many people believe this, and they don’t speak about it even if they do. And some say they are down on their fortune with trouble around every corner. I think I have had a good life. We did have some rough patches, illness and other things, but I can say I was very lucky in terms of my job, my emotions, my child and my friends; I still am. I have loved and have been loved; what more could I ask? If something were to happen to me today, I’d only worry about my son because he’s too young. He looks quite imposing but he’s still a child. Other than that, there would be nothing that I would regret not having done. But that stage thing Nesrin, we need to take care of that.
Thank you for this lovely chat